October 2010
2 posts
10 tags
vol IX: "Henry Miller, Snooki, Steel Coils and the...
Writing is as writing does…
“I haven’t given up the alternate plan of getting sponsored by a fruity vodka and rolling around naked on a Vegas hotel bed with money flying all around the room…”
Read more here:
http://lostinasupermarket.com/2010/09/bureaucracy-for-breakfast-vol-ix-henry-miller-snooki-steel-coils-and-the-caa-death-star/
10 tags
This has nothing to do with unemployment...
… except for the fact that I never would have had this awesome experience and never would have written this if my boss hadn’t kicked me to the curb so… take THAT suckas!
Do Madmen Eat Scones? A civilized chat with post-punk artist Paul McCarthy:
http://lostinasupermarket.com/2010/09/do-madmen-eat-scones/
September 2010
2 posts
10 tags
I have no idea what's going on...
I’m becoming unhinged. This economy is SILLY. I apply for all kinds of jobs that I am qualified for, film jobs, editing jobs, and NEVER get calls. I have an MFA damnitall! Then I email my phone number and a photo (granted I picked the most ridiculous pic of me possible) to this ad to be a “Go Go Dancer/Waitress” (at a legit bar) without even a resume attached and I get a response within an hour?...
11 tags
vol. VIII: "Dumb as a fox"
Month five of unemployment. This is about the time you start to realize you should do things like finally read Shantaram because, well, you’ve got a lot of hours to spend with a 900-something page book about an ex-heroin addict/convict who goes on a spiritual journey. I mean, there are only so many hours you can fill writing, planning, looking for jobs (that sucks up about five minutes per...
July 2010
2 posts
6 tags
vol. VII: "Big, dumb fun in the cockeyed caravan"
The pool parties have kinda dried up, for now. They’ll be back, sometime in my life. I hope. That exhilaration that swirled around me during a sunny couple of weeks in July seems to have snuck away on little cat feet, leaving instead lots of foggy, cold days which are great for brooding and writing, but which are bad for… just about everything else. Like thinking about your situation as a...
5 tags
vol. VI: "Living the high life"
That’s right. I am living large. Like MTV Cribs large. Like Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous fancy. Like Oprah, if Oprah floated in Malibu pools sipping sangria. And I’ve probably never been so poor.
Oh I’m working hard. And applying to jobs, though I haven’t gone the waiting tables route yet. I’m holding out for something bigger. Just a little longer. And I’m pretty damn good at managing...
June 2010
3 posts
3 tags
vol V: "Sallie Mae vs grizzly bear hides"
Remember the nice guy who worked at the Genius Bar, and who told me to call a 1-800 number and use the word “inconvenience” a lot, so I could maybe get my MacBook fixed for free? Well, I did as he said, and used “inconvenience” a ton, and it worked! That dude and his 1-800 number tip saved me $350!
Well, now I’ve got another 1-800 number to deal with, and this one ain’t so friendly.
The...
3 tags
vol IV: "How Jerry Springer (almost) made me do...
It was handed to me a week ago. An innocent looking, baby-blue postcard. A casting call for a dating game show. My nightmare, really. But when you are jobless, and your nightmare promises $500 for a single day’s work, it’s shockingly easy to face your worst fears. Or so I thought.
Next day I sent them an email, saying I was interested in auditioning. They asked me to submit a photo and...
6 tags
vol. III: "An ode to Floyd with his honeybear...
My laptop is in sad shape. The screen suddenly only works if it’s propped at a 45-degree angle or less. Actually now it’s creeping down to a 35-degree angle. This presents a problem because: A. I can’t afford the $250 and the week away from the laptop it will take to fix this issue and B. I now do all my writing and work on this maimed laptop, in public, at my favorite local coffee shop. It...
May 2010
2 posts
vol. II: "The things we do for... rent money"
I’ve had some silly jobs. I mean, I’ve never stood on the side of a busy street wearing a hot-dog costume, dancing around and waving a sign like a maniac just to try and lure people into a fast-food joint. Not yet, anyway. But I have sold “The Chopper” from a kiosk in a low-lit mall. Elevator music covers of Nirvana dribbled from the speakers. That job lasted about five hours. Once I realized...
2 tags
vol. I: "Do you have any hope?"
You know that old song, “Take This Job and Shove It?” The one sung by some dude named Johnny Paycheck, about a man fed up with working long, hard hours for a lame fat-cat boss? A few months before I got laid off, when I was in the la-la land of believing my job was super secure, I started thinking about that song. See, I felt lucky to have a job in this economy, but I wanted out. I was sick...
