Maybe it’s just me but customer service peeps are being a hell of a lot nicer these days. AT&T ladies are joking around, being sweet and helpful; checkers at Ghetto Ralphs and Albertsons are all smiley and positive as if they’ve been drinking the Trader Joe’s Kool-Aid or something. Maybe it’s because they’re all just so damn happy to have a job. But whatever the reason - it’s a thing.
Holiday season. It’s right around the corner. Christmas music and dreidels have muscled into our local drug stores, the pumpkin patch just closed down, and my confused and/or lazy neighbors still have their gigantic spider web and witch decorations out. Scary. People are out doing their holiday shopping. Oh, wait – never mind! No one is really doing holiday shopping, are they? Unless they’re in Bev Hills or the Hamptons or Paris something, right? I always wonder that when I’m forced to drive through the Rolls Royce bumper car jungle that is Beverly Hills: Who ARE these people loaded down with shopping bags? They’re not occupying Wall St, that’s for sure. More power to them and their $4,495.00 miniature crystal ladybug from Neiman Marcus. Really I mean it. The ladybug is pretty cute:
So unless you’re one of those cool-nerdy type people who can whip up a dozen crocheted Hello Kitty X-mas scarves for your BFFs or cook up some vegan truffle mint cupcakes and enjoy it, my advice for the broke, the weary, and the unemployed during this holiday season is simple: Holiday Parties. Get invited. Go. Drink Free Cocktails. Be Merry.
Holiday parties really can cheer a girl or guy up. It doesn’t have to be a super fancy soiree, but you can make it feel fancy by dressing up, wearing cute shoes, and forcing yourself to forget the loans and the rent and whatever else. Channel your inner Paris Hilton or Olson Twin (either one will do!) and then surround yourself with warm fuzzy free things and warm fuzzy people you love. For free!
For some reason the Trader Joe’s elevator at Sunset & Crescent Heights has an elevator plastered with old 70s album covers. My eyeballs landed on this one and it was like love at first sight. Or really strong like. Pretty cool image.
New post is out! We give those whiny litigious Hollywood interns a talking to, and look at what it’s really like to be a lowly intern in good old Hollywood. Take a peek!
I’ve penned a plea to the Oz behind Sallie Mae. I’m sure he’ll totally read it and then restructure student loans and we’ll all be happy.
“You’re a stuffy businessman, not Liberace or Andre Leon Talley. Be careful dude…”
See these ladies? All the stuff they have? They look so b-o-r-e-d, poor things. Maybe they’d be happier if they ditched the furs and the fancy crystal and hit up a happy hour for some $3 margaritas! Let’s discuss….
In honor of the crazy California babysitting bill they’re trying to pass I thought we could revisit my own “(mis)Adventures in Babysitting”… I’m all for workers’ rights but, c’mon now!
“They stumbled to the top of the staircase wearing only jeans and bras, giggling like schoolgirls while punching each other Tyler Durden-style. I suspected they either got their hands on Cisco, PCP, or both…Then they tumbled down the staircase…”
Bureaucracy for Breakfast is featured in this in-depth Marketplace story about unemployment. If you’re in Southern California tune in at 8PM PST this Saturday or Sunday to 89.3 KPCC-FM and you can listen online HERE
The report explores some interesting aspects of what’s going on with our crazy economy. Here’s hoping things change!
OK here is PART 1 of 2 about my adventure cage diving with SHARKS!
illustration by Amy Saaed
I’m going shark cage diving… in a cage just. like. this.
“I’ve gotten myself into a pickle, all in the name of writing. And unemployment. And providing entertainment. Like a clown…”
Comediva picked Bureaucracy for Breakfast as their latest Chick Click!
Hi! Check out my interview with Self Scribes about the writing process, getting laid off, reading David Sedaris, and becoming addicted to Twitter…
READ IT HERE !!
A call to arms against the most nefarious force known to students…
“Would the CEO of Sallie Mae advise his or her kids to take out loans if the family ‘lost it all’ in a bad pyramid scheme…?”
READ IT HERE: http://bit.ly/llW1aG
The power of the Pouf!
“Snooki and Vince Lombardi are like my twin pillars of strength…”
READ MORE HERE: http://bit.ly/kpuYJJ
Hi there - been writing a new blog for H Texas Magazine called Texan Adrift, take a peek! New Bureaucracy for Breakfast post coming soon - like, next week soon!
TEXAN ADRIFT: Absence of Wildness
“I’ve partied til dawn in LA and danced in after hours tranny clubs in Belgium…”
READ MORE HERE:http://bit.ly/ioDm0R
