Bureaucracy for Breakfast

Laughing at the economic divide. Featured on NPR, AOL News & Chelsea Handler

Posts tagged occupy wall street

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The most wonderful/bullsh*t time of the year!

Holiday season. It’s right around the corner. Christmas music and dreidels have muscled into our local drug stores, the pumpkin patch just closed down, and my confused and/or lazy neighbors still have their gigantic spider web and witch decorations out. Scary. People are out doing their holiday shopping. Oh, wait – never mind! No one is really doing holiday shopping, are they? Unless they’re in Bev Hills or the Hamptons or Paris something, right? I always wonder that when I’m forced to drive through the Rolls Royce bumper car jungle that is Beverly Hills: Who ARE these people loaded down with shopping bags? They’re not occupying Wall St, that’s for sure. More power to them and their $4,495.00 miniature crystal ladybug from Neiman Marcus. Really I mean it. The ladybug is pretty cute:

 

So unless you’re one of those cool-nerdy type people who can whip up a dozen crocheted Hello Kitty X-mas scarves for your BFFs or cook up some vegan truffle mint cupcakes and enjoy it, my advice for the broke, the weary, and the unemployed during this holiday season is simple: Holiday Parties. Get invited. Go. Drink Free Cocktails. Be Merry.

Holiday parties really can cheer a girl or guy up. It doesn’t have to be a super fancy soiree, but you can make it feel fancy by dressing up, wearing cute shoes, and forcing yourself to forget the loans and the rent and whatever else. Channel your inner Paris Hilton or Olson Twin (either one will do!) and then surround yourself with warm fuzzy free things and warm fuzzy people you love. For free!

Filed under unemployment humor bureaucracy bureaucracy for breakfast economy occupy wall street occupy wall street humor gachman unemployment blog christmas hannukha